Compassion and wisdom (in memory of Sarah)
This week I received a few patients in a State of deep sadness. His teenage daughter had committed suicide. Thought me so hard the story I tried to offer parents a bit of 'mercy'. But wishing them the happiness I felt badly, and wishing me it happiness to me same me felt worst still... It was like a betrayal to them. By Koncha pines-Pey Ph.d.
While they fell tears down her cheeks, the mine began to arise spontaneously. How I could apply the compassion at this time? I found myself doubting everything what had been learned so far, doubting me, but not the Dharma. So I remembered how compassion must be always accompanied by the wisdom of discernment. It was not the first time that he had been witness of hard situations, where Mercy does not come, where the end of the pain seems inexhaustible. You have to do to discern between pain and suffering, parents in order to offer them a drink of wise compassion.
Many times at Western Dharma students study the brahmaviharas (compassion, mercy, altruistic joy, and equanimity) separately may... as if exist separate of the wisdom. This is a big mistake. Buddhist philosophy is unique in its emphasis between the unity of the mind and the heart: are inseparable. A composite entity that cogenera wisdom and compassion in a continuous, interrelated and universal embrace. A heart awake integrates the ideas of mind and an awakened mind offers the consolation with an open heart... Understanding that suffering is inevitable in this existence.
I suggested to the parents that they differ between the pain of loss and the suffering that was generating the loss mentally. This wise but nice nuance is pure recognition, the first order to generate compassion. They sat down and calmed down, and slowly my request made effect. Then talk about the vision of her happiness as "absence of sadness". Maticé Les which one can be happy and sad. Knowing this gradually entered into the compassionate wisdom. I began to feel relief, even in this state of abject pain, I could show as a facilitator of true compassion... I could do something for these parents in mourning.
I wanted to be free of suffering, of the unjustified guilt, justified guilt that may arise later in his mind. I wanted them to open their heart to their friends, their families, their other children... and they were able to receive love. It was then when in the midst of tears sprang a smile... They could then begin to experience the profound union of compassion and wisdom. The power of mercy and compassion.
Without knowledge we can confuse compassionate impulses and actions and generate codependency. Precisely understand the meaning of the wisdom of voidness is actually distinguish wisely. All beings suffer and it can not always be a compassionate action internal or external to alleviate the suffering... but if wisdom can be applied.