The trauma of the daily life of Mark Epstein
We do not accept that happiness is a temporary state, and seeking it compulsively created more unhappiness and trauma in our minds. Explains it in The trauma of everyday life the author Mark Epstein. By Koncha pines-Pey for space MIMIND.
"The trauma is the cornerstone of our psychology." Mark Epstein
Western psychology teaches us that if we understand the cause of the trauma we can work to leave behind it, while Eastern practices use meditation as a profound medium for transforming difficult emotions. With this argument Mark Epstein It recognises that both conceptions are present to the trauma is an indivisible part of life, It takes many forms and that it does not forgive anyone, without exception.
What Buddhism and meditation teach us is that everything is dukkha -the first Noble truth-. There are dukkha everywhere, so there is trauma in all sites. Creating a new memory, a new record of conscience, raising the hidden constraints or the claims we can access the space between trauma and trauma. What Epstein in his book The trauma of everyday life It is called "the traumatic vision of ourselves".
We all want to be 'normal', and is in that effort just more re-traumatizados. Everything what us out of our own brand of problematic; We are looking for happiness in the most inappropriate places. We want to always be happy, be happy and ignore everything that is in our minds in every microstate. If we are not happy always is happening to us something; We cannot accept that happiness is also an imperfect state. And thus, we do not accept that happiness is fleeting and compulsively seeking it, create more unhappiness and trauma in our minds.
Perhaps we should we concentrate just in search for the power of happiness, "its causes". The same applies to the fact of trying to live with the potential chaos and uncertainty.
When Miss the bus, work, family, what? in my mind Trauma always is present, but it is not always accessible to my conscious mind. Do I become aware that this there? The only possible way of running the veil of ignorance is to observe my thoughts, feelings, perceptions, illusions and, above all, my actions - even the failed -. If I take, for example, an image or an episode of my life of 20 years ago and I check it from a Mindfulness perspective, I can see how then had more anger, more ignorance, less ability to understand the other. In psychological language it was acting, my ego was playing a role, "was less myself".
People always acts, and does not know that he is doing; He believes that his performance, his character or his play is something real. That needs to be done a psychotherapeutic work with this material, to recognize that it is not real. We are angry and we believe that we are the anger. We can train ourselves to observe our actions and reactions on small facts: what happens in our minds when our neighbor removes the plaza de parking, when someone sneaks into the tail of the supermarket? So go slowly learning to get to know us and to be recognized. These small observations are indicators, points on the map of the trauma. You can access the traumatic material without acknowledging those little never made. Recognize that the day screamed a person was acting a part of me is the beginning of change.
At this point is very important to take into account not re-traumatizar more a victim to seek trauma. This is why a great controversy within the psychotherapy. The idea is to be present, but being able to make a exercise of de-identification with the facts. You are browsing the trauma, but you are not trauma. You can break down it: sensations, emotions, perceptions, thoughts, smells... all this exists, but the label that we have given to those "traumatic" events can be reformulated. It tries to create a compassionate and friendly environment where if the trauma surfaces can be observed without judgment, with a comprehensive look. Sometimes we may need long and others could simply be a small moment. When trauma starts to arise, you have to go little by little, is digesting without anxiety.
There is a certain similarity between the maternal figure and the meditationin the sense of both to provide us with a secure environment in which we can express ourselves, nourish and be ourselves. The advantage of the meditation on the mother figure is that we do not need another. In meditation we just "ourselves" to create that compassionate environment to access our mental States.
If you are a person who has never meditated and are interested in doing so, you may need small basic instructions. For example, you are looking for a quiet, well placed back, you try to be yourself, you don't force you. If you feel that in this process arises something unkind about you, observarlo. This is the first material of meditation. That is happening? It is like looking behind the closet yourself: there is a feeling there hidden, there is something they want to say and you're not saying someone. This is a beautiful beginning to meditate, take notes of all that process. It is also the beginning of a therapy: recognize what is happening. It is to let that the unconscious can communicate with the conscious.
In The trauma of everyday life Epstein recounts his own experience and that of their patients, who are a Buddhist psychiatrist. The advantage of recognizing the trauma in our lives is that it arouses capabilities of our own suffering and that of another mind. The trauma makes us more human, more compassionate and more wise. You can be the best teacher, and which finally gives us the key to freedom.
It's creating an opening to a way of being clear and present, sensitive and free, give it tells that there are traumatic moments but that we are not really those moments. A loving and courageous way of living based on being present with the traumatic experience, con equilibrio constante.