Book / 1, 2, 3, breathe!, Carla Naumburg
This book teaches us how to prevent from the mindfulness, not only the tantrums of our children but also ours. Published by: Editions B. price: €15
Breeding can be stressful, and when your children have a tantrum, it's not easy to remain calm, not to mention soothing them. The children are learning to manage the intense emotions and to pay attention and make useful decisions, but does not always succeed. The unpleasant power struggles can make you feel frustrated and hopeless, and your son more altered and stressed. But you don't have to be like that.
1, 2, 3, breathe! It is an essential book, with real solutions that you will help, you and your children to consciously manage the daily challenges. Thanks to the fun games, activities and exercises that contains, you will be able to save face, use the mindfulness with your children and provide them with the skills they need to better manage stress, difficult emotions and attention problems. Crises are inevitable, but with this book, you'll know what to do to restore peace.
Some excerpts from the book
«What is the mindfulness? There are many formal definitions, some more spiritual, others more earthly and other scientific, but they all share certain aspects: intention, attention, acceptance, and friendliness/warmth. «Although it is words of great importance for many children, the concepts that support them are relatively simple: choose, realise, feel good with what really is happening, whatever it is, and be kind to yourself and others.»
«Perhaps the biggest mistake in this regard is to consider that the mindfulness practice aims to be happy or serene. Although happiness and stress reduction are common and very pleasant side effects of being in the present moment without wanting to change, they are not the same as the mindfulness. Basically, this consists in be aware and accept what is happening at this time, which sometimes may involve experience difficult or painful emotions until they disappear. And they do it. This is a very pragmatic practice that teaches us to see us to ourselves and to others clearly to so take the most appropriate decision possible in any situation."
"There are many ways to share with them the mindfulness. I will focus on three methods that we will explore in greater depth throughout the book:
- Exemplify it for our children. As all parents know, our children do not always are receptive to our instructions or suggestions. In the moments that do not show interest, best thing to do is to react with all the presence, acceptance and friendliness/warmth that we are able to meet. Whenever we get to react like that we'll be exemplifying a conscious response to a difficult situation for them.
- Share with them a book, a specific activity or a guided meditation in order to teach them the language, concepts and practices of the mindfulness. If the two are connected and calm, your child will learn a lot of those moments.
- Teach them the tools and skills to consciously respond and calm down when they are going through a difficult time. For example, perform three conscious breaths, hanging out at the corner of calm, or "leave to enter". These practices will be more useful if we carry them out with our son, rather than simply tell you to do them alone. at least at the beginning.»
Some exercises and activities
«Remember the initials ARE. The to corresponds to attention. When things get stressful or chaotic or we do not know what to do, we can always stop and pay attention. The R corresponds to breathe. Pay attention to the breath can help to calm and focus in order to make better decisions. The E corresponds to choose. Breathe consciously can help us to choose more wisely what to do next."
«What will you remember? This strategy is to ask your child at any time of the day what will be remembered of what is living. Note this not you're looking for an answer in particular, and his memory does not have to be positive or happy. To recognize and be able to tolerate the moments most difficult or unpleasant life is invaluable. Ask your child what will remember that day and show you receptive to your response, whatever.'
«Create the corner of calm. In addition to clear your House, you can create a specific spot to calm down. This may consist of a small room, a corner of a room, a comfortable chair or a child tent Interior. Here are some things to consider:
- Although it is not necessary, you can choose a theme for that space. A friend of mine called it "Glacial calm" and put books on the Antarctic and stuffed penguins and polar bears. Another friend called it "Space seat"; She and her son cut stars and planets, hung them from the ceiling and put the doll preferred alien of his son and a few books and space-themed toys.
- Choose a few dolls who likes or activities that can perform only.
- Do not put too much, they will find it difficult to focus.
- No screens, tablets or electronic toys in the corner of calm, except for an MP3 player or a CD player with guided meditations.
- It is not a corner of thinking and your son must not come to him bound. You must associate it with positive feelings.
The corner of calm is a sacred place where it is not allowed to scream, scold, discuss, fight, questioning, or negotiate. The goal of this place is not analyze situations or reframe problems. It is a place to be, breathe calmly and quiet and relaxing activities. That's all. When you are there, you should feel secure."
«Parents live day to day accelerated, anticipating problems, developing plans, and generally doing whatever a hurry to go to the next. But this is tiring, is not sustainable and, if we are not careful, our children will adopt similar habits. Like us, it can end up feeling that their lives are a succession of "ready, set... now!" without even a moment to relax, focus and reflect on where they have been, where they are and where you want to go. Fortunately, we can help break that cycle. We can teach them to prepare, be ready and simply breathing. Whenever they get to do it, or whenever we can do it with them, we will be planting the seeds of the mindfulness. In this way we will be inculcating in them skills and practices that will serve them throughout their life.»
Carla Naumburg It is a clinical social worker, writer and, more importantly, mother. Author of Parenting in the Present Moment, also manages the blog Mindful Parenting in psychcentral.com and is publishing partner in kveller.com. His writings have been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Huffington Post, among other means.